stephrogers | Now that the war's over

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howard (au_avenger)

Now that the war's over

Steph had taken to hanging out at Howard's workshop these days. Usually with her sketchbook or with whatever assignments her class had saddled her with that week. Really, she just liked idly sketching him in graphite, almost feeling like a schoolgirl with a crush again. But no. Howard was the brilliant mechanical engineer she knew during those days of trenches and jumping into the fray. They had spent countless nights and days huddled over this or that new invention that would keep her team safe.

But lately, she's noticed a pattern to her sketches and studies. He was looking worn. Talking of Maria or Tony, whenever she could get two words out of him, hurt him deeply. As did other things.

"There's a marathon of movies by Ginger Rogers on tonight. Wash up and we could catch Shall We Dance," she offered.

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"I'm not sensitive. There's just one scene that's particularly well done," he argued quietly. He paused, then continued. Steph already knew he watched romance; he could sink no lower. "I guess it's just nice to see a romance movie where the men aren't being vilified or made out to be angels. There's shades inbetween. And I like that it doesn't bash women like some male written love stories do. It's just two people, coming together, making mistakes, and living life.

Even in my sci-fi movies, I need the characters to feel like people or it just becomes literary science and cliches. I have enough science in my life. I want things that are real. Like you - you are who you are, and the serum didn't change who you were, it just let it shine through."

Steph felt her cheeks color a little at that. "Yeah well. Not a lot special about me. But I an assure you that you and I are 100% real. Right now's real." She laced her fingers with him. "Let's watch 500 Days of Summer, then. Enjoy these slow moments before it gets all hectic again."

"I know you're real. It's just hard for me to believe it sometimes. When I couldn't find you no matter how hard I looked..." He swallows, his throat dry and stomach uneasy. "I'm glad we can have these kind of slow moments together."

It wouldn't be right, would it? She wasn't entirely sure. What about---she didn't want to--Conflict flitted over her features. Howard searched for her. From what she'd seen, practically tirelessly. She squeezed his hand as if to say 'I'm here now' and she nervously leaned close. "I'm glad too," she whispered.

"Sometimes, the idea of living as long as I might be able to seems hard. But now that I'm not alone, it seems... easier." He nuzzled his head against hers, still thinking. "Huh. Romance cliches are actually making sense to me at long last. It's been so long since I tried dating I'd forgotten what it was like."

"What do you mean?" she asked as she nuzzled him back.

"About which part?" he asked, trying his best to be open. Emotions were never his strong suit, but he'd try to explain his thoughts to her if she wanted. Stephanie was someone he could trust to understand - or at least try to understand.

"Romantic cliches?" she asked. "And I can honestly say I understand not knowing what it's like to date. You've got a few decades on me in that department."

"There's a lot of cliches in sci-fi that I used to scoff at. The idea one person made life infinitely better, that human connections are more precious than technological ones, that emotions are worth the bad for the good - a lot of us scientific types are apparently romantics at heart. But, as I've figured out lately, it's okay to not be cynical for a few moments."

"Yeah? Someone made life better for you?" she asked softly. Steph could feel her heart pounding. She didn't know exactly how this could happen. She thought of Bucky sometimes. But...Bucky was in her past. He wasn't hers anymore. Now, she could have...Guys like Howard never went for dames like her. Not before. Which was why she was able to shove aside feelings and work with him as his friend and teammate.

I have specific sci-fi works in mind for each thing he listed. Scientists = romantics in denial

"Yeah, you did. From the moment I met you when working on the serum with Erskine, I knew there was something different about you. I'd never seen someone so determined and idealistic before. You're one in a million." His polar opposite, in many ways. But the differences didn't attract or repulse him, they simply made her who she was. Before, he'd pushed aside the idea of being anything more than friends because he was so in love with science, and he thought no one would understand how he wanted to use it to help people. But Stephanie seemed to understand things about him without him explaining it to her first.

But there was time now. Steph nervously moved closer and closer until she could brush her nose against his. "Jeepers," she whispered. Her heart was pounding. If she wasn't aware of the serum keeping her from palpitations, she could would swear that she was having an episode again. She could feel her blood rushing in her ears.

"You've always been a truly good person. I don't believe in much of anything anymore, but I know I can believe in you," he explains softly, voice a quiet murmur. He can't stop looking at her even though he knows he should shut up before he creeps her out. Or is this creepy? Howard has been off the dating market for so long he can't remember. Everything about this moment seems surreal, like it came from someone else's life. "And even though I know you don't need it, when we're on missions together now I'll always protect you. Not because you're a dame, but because I know you'll do the same for me."

If it was creepy, she wasn't showing any acknowledgement of it. "Of course I will, Howard. We've had too much together. We've got...oh shut up and kiss me," she blushed.

He needs no further prompting to close the tiny gap between them. He's read the romance cliche about energy and jolts, but kissing Stephanie is the opposite, calming. Inherently right. It feels like some great weight has been lifted off his shoulders. They're together, and there's something amazing about that he can't explain.

She kissed him back and felt a rush go through her. No, not lightning or anything like that. But like being caught in the whirlwind that Howard could be and she held on to not be blown away.

He shut his eyes, feeling the tension leaving his body. Stephanie is strong, he can feel it in her grip, and it's just so good to truly connect with another human being he doesn't care how sappy he must have sounded earlier. It doesn't matter. All that matters is the present.

She shut her eyes and continued the kiss, knowing she wouldn't be torn away. He wouldn't be torn away. They had all the time in the world, really. Steph gave more of herself into the kiss and brought him closer. This was Howard. Her Howard. Her Howard with his crazy machines and wacky ideas, who constantly smelled of engine grease and this side of singed.

They could probably outlive all their friends. That used to be a terrifying idea to him. It had hurt to know he was going to be the last one standing. But now that he knew he wouldn't be standing alone in the end, he knew things would be okay. Stephanie made things okay. Even though she still had a lot to catch up on, he'd be there with her every step of the way. And she would be there to remind him of his own humanity.

He smiled against her, contentment welling up. For the first time in a long time, everything felt alright.

She smiled back and continued to kiss him. The future was terrifying at first. Everything was new, loud, bright. When she broke out of SHIELD the first time upon waking up, she ran. She broke through walls, doors, ran until she was standing in what everyone was saying was Times Square.

It wasn't in the records anywhere, out of respect, she suspected, that she holed up in her new apartment, laid down on the floor and cried, desperately wishing she could click her heels together and just go home.

Then Howard happened in her life again. Howard who was a breath of fresh air, who was familiar, who helped her navigate this world.

She smiled back and kissed him more, moving closer to him.

This makes me want to play their hypothetical kid. You converted me into this ship, you know.

It wasn't in the records, out of fear of how much money and lawyers he had, that Howard wasn't doing as well as everyone thought. He wasn't dealing with the future as well as he tried to act like he was. There were days he couldn't get out of bed to face the world. There were days he was only proud of himself as Iron Man. For a long time, he'd given up on even finding friends. It hurt too much to see them die one by one. It was easier to drown himself in technology. The water was over his head when Stephanie was found. Now, he can breathe.

Steph held him close, movie forgotten as she continued to kiss him. She gently reached up with one of her hands to cup his face as the slow kiss went on. She can now see the appeal as to why those girls flocked to Howard even when he left them in the dust.

Before LJ, I shipped nothing. Now I ship EVERYTHING. XD

He can't help sighing against her, his arms wrapping tighter around her without even realizing it. He doesn't want her to leave. He doesn't want this moment to be over, ever.

She held him back, careful not to hold too tight so that she would hurt him. Steph continued to kiss him, feeling it down to her toes. "Howard," she sighed against his lips.

"Stephanie," he murmured, feeling the reality of this wash over him. This was really happening. Stephanie, who could probably charm her way into anyone's heart on accident, had actually picked him. That threw him for a loop, it really did.

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Aw Howard, you romantic you

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I'm terribly sorry. Exceptnotreally. My bad. Did I twist your arm?

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ALL OF IT

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