Now that the war's over

[stephrogers]

Steph had taken to hanging out at Howard's workshop these days. Usually with her sketchbook or with whatever assignments her class had saddled her with that week. Really, she just liked idly sketching him in graphite, almost feeling like a schoolgirl with a crush again. But no. Howard was the brilliant mechanical engineer she knew during those days of trenches and jumping into the fray. They had spent countless nights and days huddled over this or that new invention that would keep her team safe.

But lately, she's noticed a pattern to her sketches and studies. He was looking worn. Talking of Maria or Tony, whenever she could get two words out of him, hurt him deeply. As did other things.

"There's a marathon of movies by Ginger Rogers on tonight. Wash up and we could catch Shall We Dance," she offered.

Comments

[au-avenger.livejournal.com]

"I wouldn't do that. I have several people I'd get to go along with me, thank you very much." He frowns. "The energy signature needs to be traced anyway if we ever expect to get a rough idea where it is ever again."

[msrogers.livejournal.com]

"They're sending a jet for me to come in. Maybe you should come along. Since you're a superhero now and all." So much for cuddling. But Steph remained where she was: it felt nice to be holding Howard like this.

[au-avenger.livejournal.com]

"Fury couldn't keep me out if he tried." He's not leaving her. The risk of losing her again was too intense to contemplate.

[msrogers.livejournal.com]

She chuckled a little. Completely Howard. "No, I figure no one can touch you just like they couldn't touch you before."

[au-avenger.livejournal.com]

"True. That's the joy of being richer than God. But I'm surprised Fury didn't contact me directly."

[msrogers.livejournal.com]

Steph moved her hand from the arc reactor to his hand. "Maybe he thinks you have too much on your plate?" Or lost too much. Or just didn't trust SHIELD. Or any of the above or more reasons she couldn't even begin to think of. The world was new, yes. But it seemed almost as if Howard wished it were 1942 again.

[au-avenger.livejournal.com]

"I don't have too much on my plate. I've gotten some CEOs in place now that are actually trustworthy, the company's doing great, and I haven't been drunk all month." He's as put together and sane as he's ever been. For the most part he's fine, or something approaching fine.

[msrogers.livejournal.com]

"You wanna take the mission?" she asked.

[au-avenger.livejournal.com]

"Of course," he replied. "Nothing could stop me from going. Especially if you're going."

[msrogers.livejournal.com]

"Then we'll see Fury in the morning." She didn't really feel like moving at this minute. "Want me to start up the movie again?"

[au-avenger.livejournal.com]

"Or we could just have JARVIS load up 500 Days of Summer." He doesn't feel like moving, either.

JARVIS asks, primly, "Mr. Stark, are you sure you wish to proceed with a movie that has repeatedly brought you to tears?"

"I don't cry at movies!" Howard snaps, going red, but JARVIS is already loading up the movie.

[msrogers.livejournal.com]

Steph moved and kissed his cheek. "I happen to like men who aren't afraid to show their sensitive sides," she noted.

[au-avenger.livejournal.com]

"I'm not sensitive. There's just one scene that's particularly well done," he argued quietly. He paused, then continued. Steph already knew he watched romance; he could sink no lower. "I guess it's just nice to see a romance movie where the men aren't being vilified or made out to be angels. There's shades inbetween. And I like that it doesn't bash women like some male written love stories do. It's just two people, coming together, making mistakes, and living life.

Even in my sci-fi movies, I need the characters to feel like people or it just becomes literary science and cliches. I have enough science in my life. I want things that are real. Like you - you are who you are, and the serum didn't change who you were, it just let it shine through."

[msrogers.livejournal.com]

Steph felt her cheeks color a little at that. "Yeah well. Not a lot special about me. But I an assure you that you and I are 100% real. Right now's real." She laced her fingers with him. "Let's watch 500 Days of Summer, then. Enjoy these slow moments before it gets all hectic again."

[au-avenger.livejournal.com]

"I know you're real. It's just hard for me to believe it sometimes. When I couldn't find you no matter how hard I looked..." He swallows, his throat dry and stomach uneasy. "I'm glad we can have these kind of slow moments together."

[msrogers.livejournal.com]

It wouldn't be right, would it? She wasn't entirely sure. What about---she didn't want to--Conflict flitted over her features. Howard searched for her. From what she'd seen, practically tirelessly. She squeezed his hand as if to say 'I'm here now' and she nervously leaned close. "I'm glad too," she whispered.

[au-avenger.livejournal.com]

"Sometimes, the idea of living as long as I might be able to seems hard. But now that I'm not alone, it seems... easier." He nuzzled his head against hers, still thinking. "Huh. Romance cliches are actually making sense to me at long last. It's been so long since I tried dating I'd forgotten what it was like."

[msrogers.livejournal.com]

"What do you mean?" she asked as she nuzzled him back.

[au-avenger.livejournal.com]

"About which part?" he asked, trying his best to be open. Emotions were never his strong suit, but he'd try to explain his thoughts to her if she wanted. Stephanie was someone he could trust to understand - or at least try to understand.

[msrogers.livejournal.com]

"Romantic cliches?" she asked. "And I can honestly say I understand not knowing what it's like to date. You've got a few decades on me in that department."

[au-avenger.livejournal.com]

"There's a lot of cliches in sci-fi that I used to scoff at. The idea one person made life infinitely better, that human connections are more precious than technological ones, that emotions are worth the bad for the good - a lot of us scientific types are apparently romantics at heart. But, as I've figured out lately, it's okay to not be cynical for a few moments."

Aw Howard, you romantic you

[msrogers.livejournal.com]

"Yeah? Someone made life better for you?" she asked softly. Steph could feel her heart pounding. She didn't know exactly how this could happen. She thought of Bucky sometimes. But...Bucky was in her past. He wasn't hers anymore. Now, she could have...Guys like Howard never went for dames like her. Not before. Which was why she was able to shove aside feelings and work with him as his friend and teammate.

[au-avenger.livejournal.com]

I have specific sci-fi works in mind for each thing he listed. Scientists = romantics in denial

"Yeah, you did. From the moment I met you when working on the serum with Erskine, I knew there was something different about you. I'd never seen someone so determined and idealistic before. You're one in a million." His polar opposite, in many ways. But the differences didn't attract or repulse him, they simply made her who she was. Before, he'd pushed aside the idea of being anything more than friends because he was so in love with science, and he thought no one would understand how he wanted to use it to help people. But Stephanie seemed to understand things about him without him explaining it to her first.

[msrogers.livejournal.com]

But there was time now. Steph nervously moved closer and closer until she could brush her nose against his. "Jeepers," she whispered. Her heart was pounding. If she wasn't aware of the serum keeping her from palpitations, she could would swear that she was having an episode again. She could feel her blood rushing in her ears.

[au-avenger.livejournal.com]

"You've always been a truly good person. I don't believe in much of anything anymore, but I know I can believe in you," he explains softly, voice a quiet murmur. He can't stop looking at her even though he knows he should shut up before he creeps her out. Or is this creepy? Howard has been off the dating market for so long he can't remember. Everything about this moment seems surreal, like it came from someone else's life. "And even though I know you don't need it, when we're on missions together now I'll always protect you. Not because you're a dame, but because I know you'll do the same for me."